In 2017 I underwent surgery for an early stage renal cell carcinoma, kidney cancer. It was an incidental finding on a CT scan. I am very fortunate that it was discovered at an early stage.
While all of my musical compositions derive, in part, from my personal experience; I have not previously used any of my life’s experience as the direct theme and organizing structure for a composition.
I began this composition 5 days after undergoing general anesthesia and surgery.
I have performed thousands of surgical procedures on patients under general anesthesia. This was my first experience as the patient.
This piece is conceptually structured by the dynamics of unfamiliar/familiar, anxiety/tranquility, and disquiet/composure.
The piece begins in A with a simple I – IV – vi – V progression. The initial atmosphere is influenced by the music of Arvo Pårt and Samuel Barber.
The single melodic line for the Cello, doubled by Bass is then joined by a second melodic line for the Violin. This is followed by a more rhythmically complex line fora second Bass.
A section follows where the Violin and Cello both echo the Bass’ line with far greater melodic, harmonic, and rhythmic complexity. Several further variations follow. The Cello then recapitulates the initial melodic line with the support from the Bass and Violin.
Experiencing general anesthesia is an oxymoron. There is no experience. It is not ‘going to sleep’.
Sleep is within the realm of the experiential. You can have a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ night’s sleep. You dream. There is substantial brain activity.
Anesthesia is oblivion. It is the antithesis of existence.
With emergence from anesthesia, life continues but there is now a defined discontinuity to the timeline. A piece of time has been chopped out, albeit, in this instance, in the cause of removing my tumor.